The Body

The body of Christ has been wonderful. When I've been physically, emotionally and mentally wiped out, someone has called to offer help, etc. I thank you and the Lord for it all. For instance, the last blog was actually delivered over a neighbors unsecured e-mail connection (I figured they'd understand), because out internet went out. Then yesterday, a colleague from work just called to see if I needed anything. He went out and visited two stores to get the part I needed (note: trust Radio Shack and not Circuit City on those things). Others have offered help with the boys. Two others came over to clean up our house. We certainly couldn't do it without the wonderful help. Especially because this second recurrance of the symptoms really hit us all hard emotionally. It's hard to feel like we're starting recovery all over again (and even at times we've wondered--how soon is recovery starting again). I can even tell that Cody is feeling it. Bennett interestly is really responding as a servant leader for which I'm thankful. When I've asked him to rise to the challenge of helping he has done so. Cody also in his own way. He's been learning how to take water to mommy--a wonderful reversal since for his four years of life he has constantly asked mommy to get him drinks.

Rhonda is doing a bit better, since she has mainly been resting in bed. She is back to using the walker and she also feels like not only her lower body but also her upper body is weak again. We felt like we were taking revovery slow, but we realize we'll have to take it even slower. Fortunately, the stomach nauseu has subsided so she can eat and drink coffee (two things that help her strength and the headaches). The nausueu and headaches have really been the tough symptoms.

Spiritually, you learn a lot about yourself during this time. We don't ask the why questions really--we both know this kind of stuff fills our fallen and broken world--even for Christians. We have experienced the wonderful redemptive role of Christ's body in the midst of our body's being broken. Even now, it brings tears to my eyes. As for me personally, I find that in the midst of the flurry, those old habits come out--good and bad. It strips away the props and reveals you for who you are--sometimes a demanding, defensive person who wants the world to work right and people (espcially doctors and pharmacists) to be efficient for my family/ and sometimes a person who perseveres in the midst of struggle/ and sometimes someone who lets stress eat away my strength/ and sometimes someone who draws inspiration from the best of life's music, love and friendship. I appreicate your prayers for the spirit of God to guide, stenghten and heal us.

Steps backward

Rhonda got home from her hospital treatment at 8:30 tonight. She still feels very weak. This past two days have been disappointing and difficult. Ever since Rhonda left the hospital the first time, we felt like she was making slow but steady progress. Now, we feel like we've just lost two weeks of progress and that we're right back to where she was at the end of the first hospital visit. We pray that this booster IG treatment really helps.

Feeling symptoms again

We'd appreciate your prayers. Rhonda had a horrible night. She feels like she's feeling all of the same symptoms again with some other ones (nauseau). We called the neurologist at 6am this morning. He said it is unlikely it is a relapse, but said sometimes at three weeks they need to give a booster treatment. He will be ordering another treatment of immunoglobulin (outpatient) today. We're just waiting and enduring.

Activity hangover

Rhonda called me and asked me to come home from Baylor today. She was feeling horrible. We realized that her two outings yesterday (Cody’s b-day party and the neurologist’s visit) wiped her out. We’re also realizing that we’re going to need more consistent help with Cody on Tuesdays and Thursdays between 8:30 and 3:30 (I’m coming home at 3:30 these days). If anyone knows of someone (e.g., a Baylor student, an older woman from our church, etc.) who could come over for two to three hours on those days, we’d be glad to know. Cody has also enjoyed playing with the neighbors or other young children during those times as well.

It's the end of the day now. Today, for the first time it felt like we took some steps back. After feeling like we were making small but consistent baby steps, the couple steps back were an unwelcome and jarring interuption. Rhonda spent most of the day in bed with a headache, weird nerve sensations and some other symptoms that had disappeared for quite a few days. Hoping and praying we don't have many of these.

Life after mom

We're settling into life without the help of my mom. We've survived two days so far. Actually, we're getting lots of wonderful help from church friends and neighbors (e.g., meals, buying groceries, and even putting clean sheets on beds--the last one is especially a bit challenging for both of us right now).

Rhonda saw the nurse practioner (NP) at the neurologists office today. Another test for MS had come back negative which merely reinforced the GB diagnosis. The NP said Rhonda is progressing as well as can be expected. She reminded us that it usually takes GB patients six months to recover, although since Rhonda experienced a mild case we're hoping for a shorter recovery time. When the NP sees Rhonda in a month she said she'll have a better idea if she has an permanment nerve damage. She recommended that Rhonda not drive for that month--we'll see.

Rhonda did get up to Cody's school today for his school birthday party. We felt like seventy year olds--me helping Rhonda slowly walk through the door with my one good arm. Still, it was fun to experience out now outgoing Cody's preschool class. He's already asking when his next birthday will take place and if he will get toys for that one. All the help Rhonda is receiving seems to have made him look beyond himself though. He says he wants to be a doctor when he gets older. He says he's also going to be a "cooker." He told us in the car, "mommy, when I get older I'm going to cook for you all day and make you peas and broccoli and all kinds of good stuff." As good parents, we think we need to try and help him reach his childhood dream.

Reality

I had tears in my eyes when I said good-bye to my mother-in law last night. We sure needed her and she certainly kept the house going during a very unusual time. It was especially great to have her for Cody's four year old birthday. That made it extra special and the help with making cupcakes and clean-up was wonderful.
I continue to make small improvements and even went for a very small stroll down the path behind our house. I think we looked very funny with Perry's right hand in a cast and the other arm holding me up. I am sure that people must have wondered if we had been in an accident. Our pace was extremely slow but that is okay. At least we were moving. Someone last week actually ventured to call us gimpy and limpy(I am not mentioning names on that- we thought it was funny). Of course my stamina is not the greatest but it is improving and as long as I don't have to be on my feet alot or walk a long way I can tolerate it.
Reentering normal life( if you want to call that) is at times overwhelming. Even when you are not quite well your kids still fight, the house still gets dirty, and there are still bills to pay and calls to make. It is amazing how many details there are to running a household. It is during these times when I choose to thank God for the gift of today. He will give me strength and wisdom in how to manage and pace myself.

So Thankful

It is hard to believe two weeks ago I was wondering whether I should go to the hospital or not. I am so glad that I did. I am so thankful that they quickly diagnosed me and started the gammaglobulin infusion right away. A lot has happened in the last two weeks and there are times I find myself wondering if it really happened. Of course that doesn't last long when I get up and try to walk to the kitchen.

When Perry told me that he was going to start a blog it overwhelmed me. Thankfully he was the one writing and so I rested. It is not until recently that I have had any motivation to write. Needless to say I have had lots of time to think and read and of course lots of time to pray and reflect. It has been so good!! and really I have felt so peaceful. Thank you for praying! I have really felt God's presence and know without a doubt that I could not do this without him. There are many times during the day where we have little pep talks (especially in the morning). God has helped me so much in choosing to be thankful, choosing to recognize his presence and control during this time, and recognizing all the answered prayer.
I wanted to share a couple of answered prayer
*Prior to the summer my sweet Cody was still pretty clingy and really found new situations difficult. He even cried when I mentioned that he would be going to preschool in the fall. He made a dramatic transformation this summer and I hardly recognize this mature boy. Is that a coincidence? No way. The adjustment to preschool has been easy, he got rid of his pull-ups at night with no problem, and is much more independent. God was preparing him.
*Some of you may know that Perry has a sabbatical this semester. What a blessing that has been for him to work when he can but not have the stress of teaching classes. Praise God he still gets paid and we have benefits. We were even blessed with some extra money this summer which God knew we would need to help pay for medical bills.
*It certainly is no coincidence that one of my favorite verses in the last few years is so applicable. Romans 15:13 May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

So, I am so blessed by all your encouragement and help. Pray for continued peace and especially this week as we adjust to not have grandma around. She has been amazing!