Perry says it is my turn to write and in that I find myself not knowing how and what to say. The last few weeks I have started to reenter life and with that have come lots of emotions. I have been overwhelmed, teary, joyful and even speechless in wondering how to to talk to people. Many have said "You look so good" and somehow the only thing I can muster is " I am glad the outside looks good". How do I respond to "How are you?" In the midst of all this, I am so thankful for my progress and especially for the ability to do things more as a family. That is such a blessing!
The part that is hard is that I find myself mentally ready to move on but my body is not ready. Last week I made the decision to go to Cody's Easter party at school. He was so excited! I felt like I could handle it. In combination with usual things at home my body did not like the increase in activity. The last four days I have spent a lot more time in bed and had a lot more pain and weakness in my legs. Unfortunately this means I am not sleeping that great either. I am constantly praying for wisdom to know how much I can do because my body doesn't always give me enough warning. It is during these times when I get my little journal out and I read all the quotes I wrote down from books and scriptures that God has given me. Then I pray and I pray for perserverance.
"Perserverance is how we cling within the grasp of God. It is waiting, it is staying and standing even without visible results... The Light offers constant pep talks that help us to persevere.
Hope causes you to have courage to claim God's promises and the bravery to believe revelation even when reason abandons you" Jennifer Rothschild
I am so thankful for heroes of the faith. I am so thankful for all of you who continue to pray and bless our family with meals and cards and gifts. I am thankful for the good that God has brought from this and all the things that he has taught me and my family. I pray that I will remain faithful and will apply all that he has taught me.
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Sunday, March 16, 2008
Celebration week
When going to church today, Bennett asked with excitement, "Mommy's coming too?!" It expressed the hesitant sort of excitement we've felt during our whole celebration week. Rhonda continues to do some seven month firsts (a visit to Sunday school, a trip to take a gift to a neighbor, a drive to a restaurant, etc.). In fact, her first trip in seven months to Dollar General for one item took so long (45 minutes--it's 3 minutes from our house), I almost went to look for her. She said she just go carried away with being in a store again (and bought a few other things).
She still has to watch herself. Her Monday taking care of the boys for 5 hours took it out of her. She then had to spend the next day spending significant time in bed to recover. At those times, I feel the old fear and frustration returning. Fortunately, this was the only significant set-back during the week. I can certainly feel the weight of the last seven months starting to lift a bit with her progress. Even doing the laundry and grocery shopping doesn't feel so draining.
The kids are also excited about the changes. Rhonda lifted Cody out of our bathtub to our bedroom and he exclaimed, "Mommy, you can carry me again!"
One of the best parts of celebration week actually occurred the Friday night before it started. Bennett told us that he "wanted to ask Jesus into his heart." Cody has always been the one of the two to vocalize deeper theological questions (this week it was--"Why did God make mean, meat-eating dinasaurs?"). Bennett, however, has really started to show some wonderful understanding of deeper spiritual issues--it is the real reason we named this week as celebration week.
To end our celebration week (spring break), we brought out our goblets and toasted with Dr. Pepper and 7Up. Cody showed the most originality with toasts to his "sweet mommy" and Daddy "for bringing Burger King." Aside--Thanks so much for the multiple suprise gifts from distant friends and relatives for meals. They've come at a great time and have really allowed us to celebrate Rhonda's progress and enjoy a less stressful spring break.
As always, thanks so much for your prayers and support. Going back out into "normal life" again produces a different sort of emotional rollar coaster. Rhonda said that she has some of the same feelings that she had when she returned from her various mission trips to Russia. It's almost like she's going through "reentry" of a different sort. We would appreciate your prayers for us during this time of hope and transition.
She still has to watch herself. Her Monday taking care of the boys for 5 hours took it out of her. She then had to spend the next day spending significant time in bed to recover. At those times, I feel the old fear and frustration returning. Fortunately, this was the only significant set-back during the week. I can certainly feel the weight of the last seven months starting to lift a bit with her progress. Even doing the laundry and grocery shopping doesn't feel so draining.
The kids are also excited about the changes. Rhonda lifted Cody out of our bathtub to our bedroom and he exclaimed, "Mommy, you can carry me again!"
One of the best parts of celebration week actually occurred the Friday night before it started. Bennett told us that he "wanted to ask Jesus into his heart." Cody has always been the one of the two to vocalize deeper theological questions (this week it was--"Why did God make mean, meat-eating dinasaurs?"). Bennett, however, has really started to show some wonderful understanding of deeper spiritual issues--it is the real reason we named this week as celebration week.
To end our celebration week (spring break), we brought out our goblets and toasted with Dr. Pepper and 7Up. Cody showed the most originality with toasts to his "sweet mommy" and Daddy "for bringing Burger King." Aside--Thanks so much for the multiple suprise gifts from distant friends and relatives for meals. They've come at a great time and have really allowed us to celebrate Rhonda's progress and enjoy a less stressful spring break.
As always, thanks so much for your prayers and support. Going back out into "normal life" again produces a different sort of emotional rollar coaster. Rhonda said that she has some of the same feelings that she had when she returned from her various mission trips to Russia. It's almost like she's going through "reentry" of a different sort. We would appreciate your prayers for us during this time of hope and transition.
Sunday, March 9, 2008
Steps forward
We've enjoyed what feels like some steps forward this week (instead of the inches). Rhonda is now driving and taking some short trips on her own. In addition, we went out to eat as a family again and went to church together for the first time in six months. She's also able to read a bit more. Overall, knowing that her nerves are healthy has really helped Rhonda feel like she can be more aggressive with her activity. Still, she still needs times of rest after extensive activity. We're also doing our best to avoid stress.
It also feels weird to have some of the stress from the last six months start to lift (it also helps that the boys are healthy). We've declared spring break as "celebration week." We feel like we have plenty to celebrate. Even the kids are asking some great spiritual questions. Rhonda and I talked last night about how it almost seems like the past six months have been a time of spiritual growth in their lives. Again, thanks to everyone for all your support and prayers this past week. Your loving witness has also made a difference in their lives as well.
It also feels weird to have some of the stress from the last six months start to lift (it also helps that the boys are healthy). We've declared spring break as "celebration week." We feel like we have plenty to celebrate. Even the kids are asking some great spiritual questions. Rhonda and I talked last night about how it almost seems like the past six months have been a time of spiritual growth in their lives. Again, thanks to everyone for all your support and prayers this past week. Your loving witness has also made a difference in their lives as well.
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