Choosing to remember

It is so nice to have Perry safely home and to know this is the last overseas trip he will be making for now. It was wonderful for me to have his parents again with us. This helped a lot and gave me a break from chauffeuring the boys. I needed it. I feel like my leg pain has decreased a little bit as a result. The last few weeks have been challenging in that I have had so much more nerve and muscle pain as well as more headaches. Honestly because of how the last 6-8 weeks have gone I thought that was behind me. It is a constant reminder that the recovery is long indeed. It also is a great reminder of the need for me to keep things simple. Meaning that I have to be very calculative about my activity. I just can't run to Wall-mart for a quick errand if I know that I have something later in the day. When the boys are not here I have to rest or I can't handle the activity later. Because the boys are more active and outside more that is about all I can handle. Quite honestly this hard! I have come to the conclusion that even if I feel fine at the time it doesn't mean I can do it. I still have to limit my activity because of the accumulative affect is not good.
It was so good to be a church on Sunday for Mother's day and one of the worship songs we sang was a great reminder of what God has been teaching me. It said "I will remember, I will remember the gift of God's son...I will remember his faithfulness". God is constantly giving me opportunities to apply what he has taught me. From the very beginning of my illness I feel that God was asking me to make life giving choices. He wanted me to make the choice not to be fearful and anxious but to choose to turn my focus to him and to learn how to trust him. Sometimes I have to admit it meant a moment by moment decision. The result I have to say is amazing. Taking my eyes off myself and focusing them on him has given me joy, peace, and hope that is not temporary or fading.
Very early on I used a journal to write verses that strengthened me. I also used it to put quotes from books I loved and from authors that I considered heroes of the faith. I didn't realize what a treasure this book would become. There was always a quote or verse or something that would point me back to God. I feel like it has helped me apply and helped sustain me through this time. I continue to read parts of it every day and I am continually adding new insights, verses, or quotes. I hope to share some of them in this blog in the near future.
Time to close. My son is calling.
Thank you for your continued prayers.
Rhonda