Hope

It’s felt less stressful the past few days. The kids are not sick, Rhonda has not had any relapses., and we don't live in Calgary where it's minus 10. My baseline for the good life is a bit less these days.

Of course, even these circumstances can change. Rhonda and I had a good talk this weekend about what gives us hope. It can’t be health, the next doctor’s appointment or even the next round of IVG treatments. God and the hope of ultimate glory with him remain the ultimate source of what sustains us.

When I started this blog almost six months ago, I thought it would be a helpful way to communicate Rhonda’s progress. What I thought would be a blog of progress has turned into a blog of continuing struggle. Bennett now even talks about time and events recalling, "yes, that happened when mommy could run and wasn't so weak." Time for our family now seems to be marked now by pre CIDP and post CIDP.

When facing the possibility of a chronic condition that may change your life for the next 40 years you really do find out where your hope lies. It can’t be in what one will give to God. We thought we’d spend our lives serving God overseas and health issues struck that dream/hope down. Rhonda enjoys above all to give to others, but she is now limited in her ability to practice what she enjoys above all. I have a heart for researching what God is doing overseas, but now my travel will probably be limited. Hopes and dreams in this life, even good ones, can come crashing down. As Paul says in I Cor. 15:18, “If only for this life we have hope in Christ we are to be pitied more than all men.”

Of course, we also don’t abandon prayers for God’s kingdom to come and be manifest here on earth—the hope for healing certainly reminds us of the hope for God’s kingdom.

Wednesday we have an appointment with a neurologist at Scott and White. We do pray that the doctor might be able to shed some additional wisdom on Rhonda’s condition. While things have stabilized a bit, Rhonda is not moving forward in some areas. Her headaches and eyes remain a problem (she went to bed early with a bad headache tonight, because she did too much reading today). Her leg strength does seem better, but it remains limited. We pray, wait and hope.