Transition

This week has felt challenging. I realize that even if I am not doing the greatest, as long as the boys are coping and well it seems to help tremendously. Bennett caught the cold that I had and Cody continues to struggle with congestion and drainage. Whether the cause is that or just being tried of transition I don't know. They have been particularly draining. They have been more disobedient and are constantly testing the boundaries. It has been even harder because Cody often refuses help from Grandma.
I am so thankful Perry is home today and so I pray that getting back into a regular routine will help. People frequently ask me how I am doing and quite honestly I don't know what to say. I think it is probably because this is a bit unusual. I am used to what it means to have a cold or the flu where it seems like you can see improvement more quickly after the worst is over. This is so much more gradual (so slow) and seems often like a roller coaster. I have to look at a week or month rather than a day to see the improvement.
So, emotionally and spiritually I feel like I am handling it well (of course I have my moments). Physically I think I am where I am suppose to be especially since it has only been three months. That is weird to say... only three months. I am optimistic obviously because I will recover, but sometimes quite honestly I wonder how to get from the three months to the six to nine months. That seems so gray.
Please pray that I will be able to rest in the midst of the chaos. I have no problem resting when the boys are not here. The hard part is when they are here. They need me and their lives continue despite this. Yes, for the most part they have amazingly thrived and I think that they have loved the extra cuddle and reading time. I pray that I will have the emotional energy and patience to be the parent I need to be during this time.